


you're my beginning and my end(game)

by chanjpeg



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, M/M, SUPER CHEESY, Self-Doubt, chan just wants jisung to smile again, cute date turned disaster, jisung has writers block, jisung is chans baby, just a little bit tho, the most subtly implied changlix ever, totally Not A Date date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 16:14:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18803803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanjpeg/pseuds/chanjpeg
Summary: where jisung has been feeling like the most useless person on the planet after going through a writing slump for the past few weeks and chan notices this, taking it upon himself to make the younger feel better.orjisung has writer's block and chan thinks watching a devastating 3 hour long movie and buying marvel merch will help him.





	you're my beginning and my end(game)

**Author's Note:**

> dont read this if you havent seen avengers endgame or you care about the most minor spoilers.
> 
> but basically this was based on a tweet my best friend sent me about peter parker doubting his self worth so thor just hands him mjolnir and pete takes it absentmindedly and is like "oh".  
> thats it. thats literally the fic but soft chansung instead.
> 
> could be interpreted as platonic or romantic, its up to you!  
> enjoy<3

It had been 3 weeks since Jisung had last smiled, properly at least. There _had_ been some small lip twitches and fake reassurances of his well being, but no one was fooled. Everyone had noticed how defeated and depressed Jisung looked. His usual happy puppy-like personality had all but disappeared as soon as he had been overcome by writer’s block and it was affecting everyone.

Instead of gladly accepting or even initiating skinship himself, Jisung pushed his friends away and shrugged off their attempts to comfort him. Not even Minho could get through to him, despite Jisung normally being glued to his side and holding his hand at every possible moment. Jeongin had even tried to cure his depression by smothering the older boy one night, ignoring the slight tugging feeling of discomfort in his chest in order to help his hyung in any way he could.

 

Jisung felt as though he had stuck his head in a bucket of wet cement and let it dry around his brain. No matter what he did, he couldn’t think of a single lyric that made sense or had any meaning. The small bin in Jisung’s shared room was full of scrunched up balls of paper (and snack wrappers despite Chan telling Felix countless times not to eat in their bedrooms) that had an array of useless words and sentences, many of them scratched out or speckled with tear stains.

 

Every member had tried their best to soothe Jisung in an attempt to help him get through his writer’s block, but none prevailed. And though they desperately wanted their bandmate to feel better and go back to normal, they were all starting to get frustrated and tired of pushing themselves to their limits only to be brushed off. They all eventually tried less and less to help the poor boy and went back to their normal daily lives, not excluding Jisung but also not going out of their way to try fix him. They figured if he didn't want to be cheered up, then the best way to help him would be to let Jisung push through this block on his own.

 

The only person who hadn't completely given up was of course, Chan. With his constant incessant need to keep his Babies happy and smiling, Chan promised himself he would never let one of his members wallow in their own depression (at least not for too long).

 

The first time he had noticed that Jisung was acting different was during one of their bi-weekly 3racha writing sessions. Usually the trio would write their own lyrics separately, or in Chan’s case tracks as well, and share what they’d come up with during the second session of the week. The first sessions though, would normally be silent apart from the scratching of pens against paper, the tapping of laptop keys, and Changbin’s occasional whispered raps. But this time Chan had watched as Jisung slumped down so far in his chair that his feet poked out the other side of desk he was sitting at. An elongated sigh left the youngest’s lips as he stared up at the ceiling in defeat. He had brushed off every concerned question shot in his direction under the pretense that he just “didn’t get enough sleep”. This didn’t appease the leader though.

 

Chan takes it upon himself to make the younger feel better by doing the most subtle things at first. Sliding him an extra piece of pizza here, letting him sleep in a few minutes longer there, even letting Jisung take his shower slot one night after a particularly rough practice. Keeping in mind that both members were quite clingy and fond of skinship, Chan had also tried smothering the boy with affection. None of these ideas had worked though, much to the leader’s dismay.

 

The week after the latest Marvel movie, Avengers: Endgame had been released, Chan had the idea of taking Jisung out for a few hours to distract him from himself. Everyone except for Jisung and Chan had seen the movie already so it wasn’t _too_ hard to get them to stay home. While the others were out watching the movie in pairs on various days, the leader had been too busy doing a million different things at once in preparation for their next comeback and Jisung had just flat out refused to leave his room to do anything other than his daily requirements. The boys actually planned on waiting until the movie was released on DVD to see it, despite both being huge Marvel fans. But the elder had finally had enough and wanted to see his best friend smile again, so he planned a whole evening for the two of them to have fun and forget their worries for a few hours. Their night would start at an arcade he knew the maknae line frequented, then move on to a walk through a quiet park on the way to their favourite tteokbokki restaurant where they would have dinner before _finally_ making their way over to a screening of Endgame.

 

Everything was going well up until the morning of their “date” as Woojin had called it. The restaurant reservation Chan had made a few days earlier to ensure they would get a table towards the back where no fans would notice them had called and regretfully cancelled all reservations made for the next few days as their walk-in freezer had broken overnight, causing all their food to go bad. This was fine though, Chan reassured himself, they could just find another place to eat. But then a couple hours later, Felix had burst into his studio telling him all about this _wild_ incident he’d witnessed at the arcade where a man had stumbled in and destroyed a few of the gaming systems in his drunken rage. The leader’s heart fell when his fellow Aussie told him of how every single customer had been escorted out and given refunds for the inconvenience. As suspected, after calling the arcade with little hope left, the staff informed him that they had shut the building for the day to assess the damage.

The only things left were the park and the movie, but Chan was already losing his will to go through with his plan. With so much to do before their 'date', there was no time to find another arcade or restaurant. Chan fought the overwhelming urge to smash his face against his keyboard as the stress continued to build. Eventually he resigned himself to just picking up some street vendor food and eating it in the park while they waited for the time before their screening to pass. 

 

4pm finally arrived and so did Jisung. Quietly letting himself into Chan’s studio, he took a seat on the big plush couch on the corner of the room and waited for the older boy to finish his work. This took a little longer than he expected though as the next thing he knew, he was being woken up by a blurry figure crouching in front of him. Sitting up, Jisung rubbed his eyes only to realise his glasses were no longer resting on his nose.

 

“Ah! Here Sungie,” The figure exclaimed, grabbing a pair of glasses from the small table next to the couch. “I took them off earlier when I saw you had fallen asleep.” He chuckled.

Putting on the frames, the younger boy mumbled a word of thanks and pulled his phone out checking the time. 6:03pm. Jisung looked up in alarm and opened his mouth to demand why Chan let him sleep so long but the boy in question had beaten him to it.

 

“Yes, it’s a little late.” He started, pulling himself off the floor to sit beside Jisung on the couch. “I kinda lost track of time and only noticed you were here at around 4:45. But you were drifting in and out of consciousness and I know you don’t sleep much these days so I didn’t think an hour long nap would do much harm.”

 

Jisung sighed deeply. “You should have woken me up, hyung. And you realize the reason you know I haven’t been sleeping much is because you do the same.”

 

Chan shot him a look that dared him to bring up his sleeping habits to excuse his own. “This isn’t about me, Sung. We should get going though, the movie starts in an hour.”

 

Huffing, Jisung followed the elder out of the company building and into the cold night’s air.

 

Four hours, countless tears, and a large box of popcorn later the two boys found themselves standing in line at the mini Marvel merch pop up store located just inside the cinema lobby. They had initially stopped to buy a keychain for each of the members back home (and an interactive rubber infinity gauntlet that was mostly for their resident nerd, Felix), but Chan had a stupidly cheesy idea that he thought just might work. Either that or Jisung would laugh in his face. After picking out a fitting keychain for the other boys, Chan slipped another item into the cashier’s hand while the smaller boy wasn’t looking.

 

They eventually arrived back at their dorm and finished handing out their keychains (a Black Panther mask for Changbin, Black Widow symbol for Seungmin, the Eye of Agamotto for Minho, Captain Marvel’s insignia for Jeongin, Captain America’s shield for Woojin, Scarlet Witch for Hyunjin, Spiderman for Jisung, and Iron Man for Chan). Pulling Jisung into the room he shared with Changbin, Chan sat him down on the other boy’s bed only to turn his back to him. Confused, Jisung patiently waited for whatever was coming only to hear the familiar rustling noise of the plastic bag that had held all the keychains they bought. This was only weird because he had watched Chan add his chain to his concerningly large stack of keys, and he knew that his own Spiderman chain was sitting in the pocket of his jeans at that moment.

 

After a solid minute or so, the elder spun around with a seemingly serious expression on his face.

“Uh. What’s up, hyung? Not that I’m complaining or anything, but I think we’ve already spent enough time together today.” Jisung joked, trying to alleviate the weird tension that made him squirm uncomfortably in place.

 

“I got something for you, Sungie.” Chan brought his closed fist out from behind his back and thrust it in the direction of the confused boy. “Something _else_.” He clarified.

“Hyung if the others find out you bought me something more expensive than their keychains they’ll be _pissed_.” Jisung sighed, though his eyes betrayed the exasperated demeanor he was reaching for. There was the tiniest glint of the old, easily excited Jisung that Chan missed so much. But it was gone in an instance.

 

“I think they’ll understand just this once. Now close your eyes and don’t open them until I say.” Chan commanded in his fierce leader voice, closing the gap between the two until they were less than an arms width apart.

 

Confused yet curious, Jisung closed his eyes and waited. His heart beating a million miles an hour in his chest. Hopefully though, Chan hadn’t noticed how nervous the younger had become once he came closer to him.

 

The sound of a metal chain being unraveled fell upon Jisung’s ears and suddenly there were cold fingers brushing against the nape of his neck as something small weighed against his chest. Normally Jisung would definitely be able to figure out that Chan had just bought him a necklace. But with all the sleep deprivation and the concerningly small amount of food in his body at that moment, his mind was foggy, slow, and had no idea what was happening.

 

A heartbeat or two later Chan’s hands were removed and he instructed Jisung to open his eyes once again, his voice shaking slightly. Immediately bringing his hands up to where he felt the foreign weight on his chest, Jisung let a small smile slip onto his face as he realized what the small object was. He lifted the tiny hammer up to look at it properly and appreciate the intricacy of the design.

 

Mjolnir.

 

“Do you know what you just did, Ji?” Chan asked, smiling fondly at the still confused boy who shook his head in response. “You lifted the Mjolnir.”

 

“I…don’t understand. It’s a really nice necklace though, thank you hyung.” Jisung smiled gratefully .

 

The older boy shook his head, a small chuckle bubbling in his chest. “You remember when Cap picked up Mjolnir in the movie?” Jisung nodded warily. “He could hold it because he’s worthy of it. He’s willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of others and I _know_ you’re the same.”

 

“O….kay…” Jisung started. “I’m not a superhero though, and I don’t think I’ve sacrificed myself for the sake of anyone in my life. I really don’t know where you’re going with this, hyung.”

 

“You sacrifice yourself every _day_ Jisung. Every. Single. Day.” Chan reached out to pull the thin boy into a hug. “You sacrifice your well-being for us. For Stray Kids. Both your mental _and_ physical health are constantly on the line because of how hard you work to write songs for us.”

Chan was stroking Jisung’s brown hair now, his voice barely above a whisper. “I know you’ve been going through a lot these past weeks. I know it’s really frustrating being unable to write. Being unable to _sleep_ . I also know you’re gonna try turning this around on me by saying ‘ **_Oh, but Chan hyung you do so much more for us and your well-being is in more danger than mine._ **’ And yes, you’d technically be right. But once again this isn’t about me. This is about you today, Sungie.”

 

Jisung had tried to pull away from the older boy several times at this point, unwilling to have this conversation when he was this unprepared. But Chan resisted and simply kept his monologue going.

 

“See, by lifting the Mjolnir just now you’ve proven your worth. Because I know what you’re worth to the other members. To this _team_ . And I know what you’re worth to me. Not just as a lyricist and an idol, but as human being who we love so dearly. You’re worth the absolute _world_ , Jisung. If anyone is worthy of wielding the Mjolnir, it’s you. You’re the most incredibly hard working and special man I know. Without you I really don’t think I would have survived the last few years of being a trainee.” Jisung was sobbing into Chan’s shoulder, arms limp by his sides. Every word was ripping through his heart and worming their way into his brain.

 

“This slump will pass, Sung. It’ll continue to be frustrating and annoying but just know you’re worth so much and you always will be. No matter how long it takes to get through this, your self worth will never diminish and we will _never_ think any less of you if you can’t contribute to a song. All of us will be beside you while you work through it as well. You hear me, Sungie?” A small nod against his now wet shoulder brought a small smile to his face, which was also covered in tears.

 

Some time later Jisung finally pulled away from the older boy to wipe his grossly overflowing nose on his sweater sleeve, eliciting a whine from Chan as he realised that sweater actually belonged to him.

 

“Channie hyung..” Jisung hiccuped, covering his puffy, red face in his hands. “That was really fucking cheesy.” He giggled.

 

Chan rolled his eyes and tackled the smaller boy onto the bed. Jisung whined in protest but the wild smile on his face betrayed him and only caused the leader to grin and pepper hundreds of kisses on his small face, not leaving a single inch of skin untouched. The two eventually settled into a comfortable embrace, with Jisung’s head resting on Chan’s chest and their legs intertwined.

 

“Thank you, hyung. For everything.” Jisung whispered, just before drifting off to sleep. Not entirely sure if the older was even awake still, but he felt as though he _had_ to say it. If he didn’t, his heart might have burst right in that moment. “I love you.”

 

A small hum rang through the warm chest below Jisung’s cheek. “I love you too, Jisungie.”

Hours later when Changbin had finally returned from his studio, expecting to pass out within seconds of his head hitting his pillow, he found his bed occupied. The mess of limbs and bodily fluids restricting his access to arguably the most comfortable bed in their dorm. He grumbled to himself about how the two sleeping boys would be dealing with the laundry of his snot and tear covered bed sheets the next morning. Deciding to leave his bandmates alone for the night though, Changbin gathered some clean clothes, his munchlax plushie, and shuffled off to his safe haven in Felix’s bed hoping that his best friend would finally be back to normal when he woke up.


End file.
